Private Struggles
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Mary decides to give the baby up for adoption, and struggles with her decision. Spoilers for "Something A-Mish", with spoilers and speculation for the rest of the fourth season.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own In Plain Sight and never will. No copyright infringement intended.

**Author's Note**: I have no clue if Mary really is going to put the baby up for adoption (which the spoilers seem to indicate) or decide to keep the baby at the last minute, but the idea won't leave me alone. I hope you enjoy!

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><p>After learning of her pregnancy, Mary Shannon panicked. She didn't want to be a mother. It wasn't in her plans. And Mark had freaked when Brandi had forced her to call him and reveal that she was pregnant. The idea of giving the baby up for adoption came up five weeks after Mary learned of her pregnancy.<p>

Marshall had informed her that he'd support her in any decision she made, and he did. He offered to help her find adoptive parents for the baby when Mary came to him for help.

Mary was extremely picky about who was going to be raising the child, so she didn't find anyone she liked until she was in her twenty-second week of pregnancy. "Lisa and Tyler Hildewen are meeting us at 2:00," Marshall informed her.

"I knew that!" Mary took a bite of pie and went back to looking at their file. Lisa and Tyler were a married couple who had been together for ten years and adopted three children. She was hoping they were a perfect fit.

About an hour and a half later, the four finally met. "So, I would just like to say thank you for meeting with us." Lisa Hildewen was very visibly nervous about this meeting.

"Well, you're welcome. I read about you in your file. You have three children?" Mary was just interested in knowing if those kids were happy and healthy. She didn't give a crap about them otherwise. Probably one of the main reasons she shouldn't be a mother, actually.

Tyler nodded. "Yes. They're twelve, seven, and five. Mitch is the oldest, Brittany is our middle child, and Melanie is our youngest. We would love to adopt your son, Miss Marshall!"

"It would be an honor to adopt the baby. We'd love to give him a good home!"

Mary winced, but let the couple keep talking. After the interview was over, she shook her head at Marshall. "They're not adopting the baby."

"Why not?" Marshall had an inkling on why, but he wanted to see if his feeling was true.

"Because they are entirely too perky. No one is that happy. It's unnatural. And I will not let the baby be raised in that household! It's not normal, I'm telling you." Mary thought they'd be a good fit, but she just didn't like them. Perky people annoyed the crap out of her.

The second meeting went well, but the potential adoptive parent was a single mother. And Mary didn't want that. She was single. And weirdly enough, she wanted the baby to have two parents. She didn't know what this pregnancy was doing to her, but Mary didn't like it one bit.

"Mary, we have to choose someone soon." Marshall wanted the baby to go to good parents, but Mary was rejecting potential adoptive parents for entirely stupid reasons. It made him wonder how she really felt about the baby, but he didn't dare voice his concerns. It wouldn't lead to anything good for him.

"I know that. Don't you think I know that?" Mary knew she was overreacting, but she couldn't help it. Her hormones had been all over the place for months now. She was driving everyone crazy, but honestly didn't care.

Mary was eight months pregnant and had been through countless files with Marshall when she came across one that really caught her eye. She called and set up an interview. She and Marshall agreed to meet the potential adoptive parents at a local restaurant.

"I still think you're making the wrong decision in giving the baby up for adoption." Jinx had informed her daughter of her opinion on the matter multiple times over the last seven months. The fact that she wanted to be a grandmother was also influencing that. Brandi and Peter, on the other hand, had offered to support Mary in any decision that she made. However, Brandi didn't want to go into the delivery room with her sister. (But that was okay, because Marshall had agreed to be in there with Mary anyway.)

"Mom, will you leave me alone? I can't raise a baby. I'm a US Marshall. Plus, I don't want to be a mother. Kids are pretty fucking annoying most of the time." Mary wasn't about to sugarcoat this. She was going to be honest about why she was giving the baby up for adoption.

Jinx sighed. "Fine. I give up. I guess I'll have to pressure Brandi and Peter for grandbabies then." And she was going to start on them right now.

"Thank you. That's all I ask." Mary reluctantly smiled and then went to into the kitchen to find a piece of pie. She didn't understand why the baby seemed obsessed with pie, but she wasn't about to complain about it. Pie was awesome. She briefly wondered if she'd ever be able to eat it again after the pregnancy was over, but pushed the thought out of her mind temporarily.

Mary and Marshall met with the prospective adoptive parents – Derek Jacobs and Matthew Thomas – at 7:30 that evening. "Thank you so much for agreeing to see us." Both the agents could tell that Derek was nervous. Matthew, on the other hand, seemed calm.

"It's no problem." Mary liked them both already, and that was pretty rare for her.

"So, you two have been looking to adopt for quite some time. I'm surprised no one has picked you before." Marshall remembered reading in their file that Derek and Matthew had been on the waiting list for thirteen years.

Derek and Matthew exchanged a look. "We've been turned down so many times. We just want to give a child a home. It's been our dream for years," Matthew explained. Derek had been a little wary of the meeting today because their hearts had been broken so many times.

The four sat at their table and talked for four hours. By the end of the night, Mary had made up her mind, but wanted to wait a few extra days to see if she still felt the same way.

"I really like Derek and Matthew. What do you think I should do?" Mary sighed happily as Marshall massaged her swollen feet.

"It's your decision, Mare. But I have to agree with you on that. They seem like the perfect parents for our little soccer star." And there he was, calling Mary's baby theirs again. Marshall really had to stop doing that.

"I agree. I'm going to call the agency tomorrow and tell them I want Derek and Matthew to be the adoptive parents." Mary was thrown for a loop when Marshall leaned up and kissed her.

"I love you, Mary."

"Whoa. What are you doing? I liked it, but whoa. That pretty much came out of nowhere." She shrugged and then leaned in and kissed him. Mary wasn't ready to reveal her love yet, but she would be soon.

The next month passed by rather quickly for Mary and Marshall. By the time she was two weeks overdue, however, it was a different story. She and Marshall, along with Derek and Matthew, were going nuts waiting for the baby's arrival.

Then one night around 3:30AM, Mary woke up Marshall and told him she was in labor. After some panicking occurred, Marshall drove her to the hospital. He, Derek, Matthew, and Jinx were with Mary as she gave birth to a son only four hours later.

Mary held her son for ten minutes before she gave the newborn to his fathers. "His name is Jackson," Derek informed her.

"It's a nice name." Mary hated it, but she wasn't about to tell them that. It was rude. And she was exhausted and didn't feel like being mean for once.

Mary and Marshall were sitting on the couch watching TV three days later when she began crying out of nowhere. "What's up?" He was worried about her. The post-partum emotions were wreaking havoc with her body, but Mary had been doing fine for the past few hours.

"I had a baby. And I gave him up. I'm a mom. And I didn't want a baby and I don't want to be a parent, but I loved Jackson anyway. And it hurts so much, Marshall. I know he has parents who love him, but I can't stop wondering if I made the right decision or not. And don't you dare tell anyone about this." Mary didn't understand why she felt this way.

Marshall brought her in for a hug. "Hey, it's okay to fall apart. It's okay to love your son. You did carry him for nine months. You had a connection with him. Derek and Matthew said you could visit. You're not out of Jackson's life completely. You can visit occasionally and be cool Aunt Mary." He kissed the top of her head and rocked her back and forth. Mary eventually calmed down and then apologized for her out of character moment once she woke up in the morning.

Mary had made the right decision. Her son was living with two parents who absolutely loved him and would do anything for him.

Jackson's happiness was what mattered in this situation, and she would never regret giving her son up for adoption.


End file.
